Are you having a Brady Bunch, Leave it to Beaver day?

I never really watched the Brady Bunch or Leave it to Beaver, but their story lines have been talked about so much that the romance in these shows is not lost on me.  Ever since I was a little girl I dreamt of being a wife and mother.  I would dream of how my husband would be very handsome and I would have perfect children and my home would always be clean.  I would wear an apron all day long to keep my 50's style, waist hugging,  knee length dress clean for my hardworking husband to see when he came home.  I would make it seem effortless to keep house, raise a respectful brood and have home cooked ~ from scratch~ meals ready for my husband as soon as he came home. 

Some days, in my real life, I feel like my little family could be the Cleaver’s or Brady’s.  Sometimes I feel like I’ve got my life under control.  To me, that means:  I’ve made time to spend with the Lord, my house is clean-or at least picked up, I’ve made a nutritious dinner, I’ve had plenty of time to enjoy my son-playing with him and showing him new things, I’ve got a plate of food in the oven waiting for my husband to eat once he gets home, my projects are caught up on and my laundry is mostly clean and put away.   I love it when I can sit down at the end of the day and put my feet up knowing that when my husband walks in the door, he’ll be impressed with what I’ve done.

I remember when my grandmother had her last stroke (she had several!).  It affected her ability to swallow and talk.  She loved to do both, so this was a HUGE struggle for her.  She lived in Florida and I was/am living in Maryland.  Hearing of her hospitalization, some of my family and I drove straight through the night to get down there to see her.  It was so sad to see her and not be able to talk to her.  She had a notepad on her table that she would write in to communicate with us.  Not long after we got there, she decided that she didn’t want to have a feeding tube put in.  So, she chose to “go home”.  The hospital arranged for hospice to come and set up camp at her home.  All of the family that traveled down to see her had been sleeping wherever we could find a spot at her house.  When my grandmother found out that we were staying at her house, she immediately located her note pad and penned a little not to my grandfather.  It said, “Is my house clean?”.  I knew what she meant.  She meant, I can’t stand a messy house.   How can I possibly go home and be relaxed if my house is a mess?  Honestly, if I were in her shoes, I wouldn’t be able to go home to die knowing that my house was dirty…it’s just something in me.

That was an awfully sad story to tell, just to make the point that I come by this craziness genetically.  I struggle with this a lot.  Perfection is just an illusion.

Today, though, my house was a mess and I didn’t make a home cooked meal-I nuked leftovers, and to top it all off, I had a Cleaver/Brady day!  How could this be?  I think it has something to do with the look that my son gives me when I ask him if he wants to go outside and ride his bike.  I love the way his hair gets matted to his sweaty forehead because he’s playing hard.  I love the little mischievous smile he gets when he climbs UP the slide, knowing he’s not supposed to.  I absolutely tear up when we’re outside blowing bubbles in the wind and I hear him giggle with the joy of figuring out how to blow just right to get the maximum amount of ‘bubblage’.   My heart soars when he runs ahead of me and turns back to say, “Chase Mommy”, clearly egging me on to chase him down.   Smelling the outdoors on his soft skin and in his hair as he lays his head on my chest for a hug makes me so happy.  It makes me realize that there are something’s more important in life than home cooked meals and clean floors.

Today, it didn’t matter if my world wasn’t under control; if it wasn’t viewed with the perfection lens.  The only thing that mattered was the happiness and joy of my little boy.

Will you trust Him with your treasure?

A talented writer at my church, Kim Weidner, wrote this essay.  I thought it was beautifully written, so of course I had to ask if I could share it on my blog.  With the Pure Freedom Tour coming to our church in just a few weeks, my heart has been examining itself and focusing on my own purity.  I read her essay on Sunday and realized time doesn't erase what has been done, God does.  I guess I always thought that once I was married that my "mishaps" would go away, but true sexual healing doesn't come with a ring, it comes from our forgiving Heavenly Father.  I'm sure this essay will challenge you to self-examine as well.  Enjoy this special essay from my dear friend.

A few words from Kim Weidner:

At a Baltimore art museum last week I examined (with my eyes only!) the delicate creations of Cartier, Lalique and Faberge (including two of the famous eggs).  These bejeweled treasures of almost inconceivable fragility have survived for a century, moved with the most extreme care from collection to collection, gallery to gallery, continuing to bring pleasure and amazement to their viewers.

Also last week I examined with the eyes of an open heart Dannah Gresh’s book What are you waiting for?, which explores very candidly the precious treasure of our sexuality, a gift created by God to be enjoyed within the context of marriage.  This treasure was designed to reveal to us the glorious harmony of the godhead and the union of Christ to his bride, the Church.  Gresh traces a very surprising Hebrew word through Scripture to show God’s intention for us to be known intimately and respected through marital sex.  Desiring to reach girls age 12-18 with her message about purity, true beauty and modesty, Gresh has created the Pure Freedom Tour, which GBC is excited to host on May 14.  Moving beyond the themes of her tour, and targeting a somewhat older age group, Gresh’s book does not pull any punches when it comes to addressing a variety of “uncomfortable” sex topics.  I believe any parent of preteens/teens would benefit from reading it, as well as those who minister to our youth.  It is an honest, straightforward appeal to girls about to make crucial sexual choices, as well as to those who have already made sexual choices with painful results.  To the former, Gresh shows God’s point of view compellingly; she urges the latter to seek with assurance the healing God will bring through honest confession and prayer.

We live in a culture whose messages about sexuality are in no way trustworthy.  These messages need to be actively addressed and challenged in the home, as I believe they are in many of our GBC families.  God’s view of sexuality, the “big picture,” not just the list of “dont’s,” should also be taught in both the home and church settings.  I have taught middle school aged girls at GBC for many years, and find it interesting how squirmy and giggly they become when I mention god’s ultimate intention for our sexuality in connection with some “spiritual topic” like the Trinity or communion or heaven.  As if sex cropped up while god wasn’t looking!  Generation after generation treats this precious and beautiful gift of God as something indecent!  So much is at stake when we fail to educate our children about the biblical picture of sacred sex.  Remember, parents, we are helping to move our fragile, bejeweled treasures to sexually whole adulthood, toward fulfilling, Christ-centered marriages or vibrant, unencumbered singleness. 

I wonder how many people reading this could honestly state that their lives are free from sexual brokenness.  Yes?  Praise God! Or have you, like me, been hurt by sexual experiences that fell short of God’s beautiful and sacred purposes?  I believe that the pursuit of healing sexual brokenness through confession and prayer is a necessary, if difficult, step toward strengthening and restoring marriages and becoming effective, Godly guides for our teen children.  It is Jesus’ redemption, not merely time, that heals all wounds.  I am compelled to testify, with a deeply grateful heart, that the healing touch of our loving, forgiving Savior is more than just well-concealed superglue on the broken treasure of our sexuality; it brings true restoration and renewal.  Will you trust Him with your treasure?

3 things I've learned...

So, normally I write about things that God is doing in my life, however recently the things that have been going on in my world aren't things that I could share on a public blog.  God has, however, been at work, and I wanted to share a little bit. 

The last few weeks have been brutal for me and my family.  We have endured several hardships  heartbreaks and have come through to the other side.  I haven't written about them because they are quite private and honestly, they really aren't our stories to tell.  But that aside, I have learned a few things through the whole ordeal that I believe are true for each of us when we are going through a tough time.

1.  God is always faithful.  He is consistently there.  He listens to me cry out to him when I am broken hearted and when I finish spilling my emotions He reaches down and puts salve on my heart, he binds up my wound and refreshes my spirit.  He is faithful.

Psalm 36:5  Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.

Lamentations 3: 22,23 The faithful love of the Lord never ends!His mercies never cease.  Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.

2.  God cares that I'm hurting.  I am a child of the King.  He is my Abba Father--my heavenly Daddy.  What parent doesn't care about their child when they are hurting?  I feel sad when my son skins his knees, even if he isn't fazed by them, so how much more does our Father care about us when we have bruised hearts and spirits?!  He cares when we are sad and hurt.

1 Peter 5:7  Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble.  He cares for those who trust in him...

3.  God loves to show off his glory.  At the end of a particularly trying time, I like to look back over the situation with a fresh perspective and just look at how the hand of God has moved.  Sometimes really bad things happen in our lives.  Someone close to us dies, or there is an accident, maybe a divorce or separation happens or an unexpected fight that leaves friendships severed....life happens to each of us.  What makes it all worth going through is seeing God glorified through the circumstance.   A death of someone close may make a friend of the deceased look at their own spirituality and send them searching for God's grace and love.  An accident could leave the victim in the hospital with nothing else to do but "look up"---sometimes that all God really wants from us--look up and see his Glory.

Romans 9:22-24  In the same way, even though God has the right to show his anger and his power, he is very patient with those on whom his anger falls, who are destined for destruction.

He does this to make the riches of his glory shine even brighter on those to whom

 he shows mercy, who were prepared in advance for glory. And we are among those

 whom he selected, both from the Jews and from the Gentiles.

Ezekiel 43:2 Suddenly, the glory of the God of Israel appeared from the east.

The sound of his coming was like the roar of rushing waters,

and the whole landscape shone with his glory.

My hope is that you see the humanity in our God--that he isn't as stoic and cold as some may believe he is.  He is warm, loving, kind and gentle.  He isn't always those things, but then, neither are we.  I have appreciated his comfort the last few weeks.  I have reveled in his warm embrace and was able to relax when things got really tough, knowing that He was in control of it all and would see us through again.  To God be the glory, forever and ever.  Amen.

Shades of gray

I know it's been awhile since I've written.  Honestly, several times since my last post I have thought about my life and what God was doing, and I realized that there wasn't any 'inspiration' per say but some conviction happening.  I didn't realize just how much conviction I had been feeling until this passed weekend while I was at the annual GBC Ladies Retreat. 

Our speaker was Tammy from Calling Levi.  One day she spoke on gray areas in our life and how God's word and His truth are black and white with no room for gray.  I seriously started feeling the Holy Spirit convicting me of the gray areas I had in my life.  One of the bigger things, I have realized is, contributing to these gray areas is the media I allow myself to take in especially TV.   

***Now-my purpose of writing this is not to condemn other people's behavior, or to tell you not watch television.  This is just what God is doing in my life-and the back story that needs told to understand how I got to that place of needing conviction.***

Anyway...  I started thinking about some areas in my life where I have gray areas.  One of them was my need to justify homosexuality.  One of my favorite shows is Glee, and I was really excited for Kurt to finally get his first real kiss...but then in my mind I'm thinking, the Lord tells me that homosexuality is a sin

(1 Corinthians 6 :9-11, Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, 1 Timothy 1:8-11).  Please understand that, like any sin, it is only wrong if the sin hasn't been confessed and repented of.  

So I've written all of this to say, that it truly is a slow fade from black and white to gray.  You don't normally wake up one day and decide to change the way you believe.  No.  It happens over months and years.  It gets introduced into our lives slowly then we start to become familiar with it, then before you know it, you've embraced it and then the sin takes root in your life. 

Interestingly enough the point that Tammy was trying to make, during her talk at the Ladies Retreat, was that Satan doesn't take a break from his work.  He is continuously trying to throw us off of the path of truth.  He works day and night to try to sway us from it.  Satan is really good at his job--he's had hundreds of year of practice. There is only one truth, and that truth is Jesus Christ! 

 1 Peter 5:8 & 9 says, "Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are."

So I'm planning on limiting my access to TV and I will be making better choices when I do get to watch it.  I'm also challenging myself to read more than just fictional books.  So if you think about me, be praying that God would show me the hole that I have in my life that I am filling with mindless TV shows.  There must be something that I get from them that I should be getting from God.  Watch out for your gray areas! =D

The Essentials of a Healthy Home

I listened to this broadcast on  Focus on the Family's website and it was absolutely amazing.  Pastor Tommy Nelson discusses the most important things that we need to provide our children to ensure a healthy home. 

The 8 Essentials of a Healthy Home are:

1. A child needs a house that is peaceful.  ~ A place where you child feels loved and at home.  Not a place of constant conflict but a place that is calming.
2. A child needs plenty of time with each parent.  ~ Mom's and Dad's make sure to take time to be alone with each of your children, making them feel special.  It creates a solid, open, relationship between parent and child as well as aids in self esteem.
3. A child needs to be taught God's truth to have a firm foundation. ~ Even when your child is still small teach them God's truths.  Try including things in your prayers with your children that are foundational to the faith.  Before a meal, pray for the food to bless your bodies, but also thank God for sending his son Jesus to die for our sins because we were sinners and a lost people ~ thank Him for redeeming us.  These small prayers help solidify the gospel in our children.
4. A child needs a Godly example. ~ Not a perfect example...a Godly one.  An example that is willing to ask forgiveness when a mistake is made and stand up for God's truth when it's put to the test.
5. A child needs good self esteem.  ~ Not false self esteem, but build up your child thoughtfully, not with empty words.
6. A child needs to feel accepted by his family.  ~ Allow your child to feel like they are accepted no matter who they are or what they do.  This does not mean that you should tolerate everything, but help your child realize that when you disapprove of something they did that you don't disapprove of them, you disapprove of their actions.
7. A child needs affection and parental touch.  ~ Obviously appropriate touch is key.  When you child crawls up in your lap, take a moment to love of them.  Let hugs and kisses be infinite and don't hold back.  Touch your child with love and affection, this helps them feel accepted, to build self esteem and creates a strong bond.
8. A child need discipline.  ~ A few tears won't hurt your child.  It is, however, important that when you are "training up your child in the way that he should go", that you are training them the way the learn the best.  Be sensitive to what is effective in each child-which could vary between siblings.

For more of the information that Pastor Nelson spoke about, check out the link about for Focus on the Family.

70% of mothers....

"70% of mothers will admit to having struggles with the complicated roll of motherhood and I'm convinced the other 30% aren't telling the truth!" 

 Lysa TerKeurst

I was taking some time for myself yesterday while my husband was home from work.  I went into our computer room and pulled up Focus on the Family's website and scrolled through the list of shows they've had on the radio recently.  I found an appealing title, "Mommy stress...", clicked on the link and started listening to this woman speak about her struggles as a mother of 5 children, while I played a game of spider solitaire.  (I told you I was taking time for myself ;))  I encourage you to listen to this broadcast by clicking on this link.  I loved her candid account of the everyday issues mom's face.  Several things Lysa spoke on inspired me to do some revamping of my prayers and also my parenting style. 

Lysa spoke about how she would feel like a failure if she wasn't the perfect mom.  She used the example of forgetting to make a snack for your child's school or not signing a permission slip that is due, and because mistakes like these mom's can start to feel like they're "bad Mom's".   Lysa explained how she struggled with feeling like a bad mom and that she started praying that God would be her portion. 

I was completely moved by that!  I tend to beat myself up about not being a perfect mom/wife/daughter (enter any other title here).  I recently have been struggling with patience.  I find myself getting short more quickly than I used too--and not just with Vaden or Lonnie. 

Side Note:  Now that I'm writing this it makes me wonder if I have really been laying it all down at the cross.  "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

After hearing how Lysa would pray for God to be the portion of her ___________ (patience, kind words, wisdom...etc.) that she lacked on her own, I had an epiphany.  It seems to be the same epiphany over and over for me, but here it is anyway.  I CAN'T DO IT ALL BY MYSELF! 

I love that God created me to be independent, but sometimes I get in my own way.  I cannot be the perfect mother!  I cannot be the perfect June Clever wife.  I cannot be the best daughter, teacher, mentor, friend  _______fill in the blank.  I cannot do any of those things because I am a daughter of the imperfect EVE!  However, there is hope!  God wants us to let him be the portion that we are missing.  I love that.  When I can't think of one more nice thing to say, I can ask God to be my portion of kindness, and he will supply all of my needs sufficiently.  "And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus"  Philippians 4:19  When my 2 year old is driving me crazy and I am overreacting to his behavior, God can supply his portion of patience to me if I ask for it. 

I tell you the honest truth.  This morning I prayed that prayer.  I prayed that God would supply me with his portion of patience with Vaden and an his portion of kind words so that I could communicate efficiently with my husband.  Today couldn't have gone any better.  If I could be this woman that I've been today, everyday, I could lay down at night and be proud of the mother/wife I am.  It's only through his sufficiency that it's possible. 

So now I have a new plan of attack.  Before my feet hit the ground in the morning, I will be praying for God's portion in those areas I struggle with, and that is all that I will ever need. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 

Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

It's my "truth"...

• Truth: the thing that corresponds to fact or reality. 
• My Truth:  an opinion that is believed to be truth, but may not be factual.
• God's Truth: The eternal principles of God embedded in the physical and spiritual worlds He has made.

God is the functional definition of a man of truth.

I have been thinking more and more about my truth.  What is it?  Is it really truthful?  Is it Godly?  Do I have a truth?

I have come to the conclusion that we all have our own truths...things that are true for us.   It is a fact that I like to cook and I enjoy baking.  It is also a fact that I am 5'3".  I can also have a truth of my own that is not factual and just something I may believe.  Our perception of events is a great example.  Do you know I lived for at least 10 years believing that something in my past happened a certain way and it really didn't.  I found that out last year (2010).  My Mom enlightened me with the real truth-the actual facts of how the event happened.  How many of you know of someone that goes to the doctor and is told that they have high blood pressure and should cut down on their junk food and exercise more, but when you ask the person how the appointment went, they say it went fine and they're as healthy as a horse?  My grandmother was good for that one!!  I miss her now that she's gone.  Anyway, my point is that our own truth may not be a hard fact.

This got me thinking...  How does my truth stack up against God's truth?  Are my opinions the same as what the Bible teaches me they should be?  It's easy to think that they are, but really examine yourself...mine were not! 

These days it is so easy to get information about anything.  The Internet has opened so many doors for us!  It is the best thing ever...but it has it's faults.  Anyone can be an expert on-line.  Everyone is an author.  Blogs, like my own, are everywhere and they have all kinds of information that may or may not be real TRUTH.  It could certainly be someones truth, but it may not be a fact.  We have to be on the guard and be very watchful when we research things, to make sure that we are getting true facts and not mindless opinions.

In the end, it all comes down to:  Are my facts straight with God?  and How do my own opinions match up with His.  Check out Psalm 119.