70% of mothers....

"70% of mothers will admit to having struggles with the complicated roll of motherhood and I'm convinced the other 30% aren't telling the truth!" 

 Lysa TerKeurst

I was taking some time for myself yesterday while my husband was home from work.  I went into our computer room and pulled up Focus on the Family's website and scrolled through the list of shows they've had on the radio recently.  I found an appealing title, "Mommy stress...", clicked on the link and started listening to this woman speak about her struggles as a mother of 5 children, while I played a game of spider solitaire.  (I told you I was taking time for myself ;))  I encourage you to listen to this broadcast by clicking on this link.  I loved her candid account of the everyday issues mom's face.  Several things Lysa spoke on inspired me to do some revamping of my prayers and also my parenting style. 

Lysa spoke about how she would feel like a failure if she wasn't the perfect mom.  She used the example of forgetting to make a snack for your child's school or not signing a permission slip that is due, and because mistakes like these mom's can start to feel like they're "bad Mom's".   Lysa explained how she struggled with feeling like a bad mom and that she started praying that God would be her portion. 

I was completely moved by that!  I tend to beat myself up about not being a perfect mom/wife/daughter (enter any other title here).  I recently have been struggling with patience.  I find myself getting short more quickly than I used too--and not just with Vaden or Lonnie. 

Side Note:  Now that I'm writing this it makes me wonder if I have really been laying it all down at the cross.  "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

After hearing how Lysa would pray for God to be the portion of her ___________ (patience, kind words, wisdom...etc.) that she lacked on her own, I had an epiphany.  It seems to be the same epiphany over and over for me, but here it is anyway.  I CAN'T DO IT ALL BY MYSELF! 

I love that God created me to be independent, but sometimes I get in my own way.  I cannot be the perfect mother!  I cannot be the perfect June Clever wife.  I cannot be the best daughter, teacher, mentor, friend  _______fill in the blank.  I cannot do any of those things because I am a daughter of the imperfect EVE!  However, there is hope!  God wants us to let him be the portion that we are missing.  I love that.  When I can't think of one more nice thing to say, I can ask God to be my portion of kindness, and he will supply all of my needs sufficiently.  "And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus"  Philippians 4:19  When my 2 year old is driving me crazy and I am overreacting to his behavior, God can supply his portion of patience to me if I ask for it. 

I tell you the honest truth.  This morning I prayed that prayer.  I prayed that God would supply me with his portion of patience with Vaden and an his portion of kind words so that I could communicate efficiently with my husband.  Today couldn't have gone any better.  If I could be this woman that I've been today, everyday, I could lay down at night and be proud of the mother/wife I am.  It's only through his sufficiency that it's possible. 

So now I have a new plan of attack.  Before my feet hit the ground in the morning, I will be praying for God's portion in those areas I struggle with, and that is all that I will ever need. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 

Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.