Thursday, January 27, 2011


From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Better is one day in your courts

I am my fullest, most complete, self when I am in the presence of God.

Have any of you heard the song by Chris Tomlin, Better is One Day?  I know our church has sung it for years, and I have been part of the congregation singing it.  But how many of you have actually felt the presence of God enveloping you, taking you in the seclusion of the throne room of heaven? 

Last winter I had a very real experience that I will never forget, where I felt like I was literally dwelling in the courts of heaven at the foot of my Lord and it was extraordinary!!   While I was experiencing this, I felt alive, cherished and fully loved.  I felt the peace and comfort you would feel when you're a child wrapped in your Daddy's arms.  I was completely tranquil and best of all, there were no obstructions, no obstacles between me and Him.  It was the best encounter of my life.  Thank you God for those few glorious days, for allowing me a small glimpse of what it would be like in heaven.  How amazing!!  I hope and prayer is that each of you reading this will one day be able to say that you have experience and event like this too.

Sorry, I just need to sing this for a moment...."Better is one day in Your courts than thousands else where.  My heart and flesh cry out, to you the living God, your spirits water to my soul.  I've tasted and I've seen, come once again to me.  I will draw near to you, I will draw near to you!!!!  Better is one day, better is one day, better is one day, than thousands else where."  Clik on that link and it will take you to YouTube for the Kutless version of the song. 

In His Image

When I get mad at my body for not working the way I think it should or for the way it looks, it hurts God's feelings. 

Some of you may know of my struggle to get pregnant with my son, who is 2 now.  I have PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) which prevent my body from ovulating on a regular basis, thus making it even harder and with fewer chances to get pregnant than normal.  We were "lucky" in the sense that we were able to get pregnant using the medication Clomid and didn't have to go through tons of tests or doctors appointments.  However, the luck factor doesn't really factor in to how I feel about my body not being able to get pregnant "normally".  For about a year my husband and I have been trying for a 2nd child and we have had no success.  Despite everything I did, we never got pregnant.  *thankfully the Lord has taken my burning desire for a 2nd child away for now, and I'm content in what I have--seriously, I am!*  My friend and I were talking recently and I was lamenting to her how frustrating it was to not be normal in this areaShe gently explained that if God was ready for us to be pregnant than it would be.  She also put the thought in my head that God was probably a little upset with how badly I was talking about myself since He is the one who created me IN HIS IMAGE in the first place.  After our conversation, I had to come to grips with this.  God knew from before my own conception, how long I would live, who I would marry, where I would live, how many children I would have and how they would be conceived.  What right do I have to be disappointed and even angry that things aren't working they way I thought they should.  If I can just remember to keep the "I" out of the equation-things would be a lot easier.  If God is perfect and I am created in his likeness, how could I ever complain about his creation.  I'm not saying that we can't work on what we've got, but I am saying that beating yourself up because you have bigger hips than your friends is ridiculous.  I am also saying that we rob God of his glory and joy by obsessing over ourselves in a negative way.  Besides, in my own situation, only He can be credited with any pregnancies that I will ever have because He is seriously creating a miracle!  To God be all Glory for the great things he has done!!!

Genesis 1:27  So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

Psalms 139:-18  O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.  2You know when I sit down or stand up.  You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.  3You see me when I travel and when I rest at home.  You know everything I do.  4You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.  5You go before me and follow me.   You place your hand of blessing on my head.  6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!  7I can never escape from your Spirit!  I can never get away from your presence!  8If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there.  9 If I ride the wings of the morning,  if I dwell by the farthest oceans, 10even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.  11I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night—12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.  To you the night shines as bright as day.  Darkness and light are the same to you.  13You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.  14Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!  Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. 15You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.  16You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book.  Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. 17How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.  They cannot be numbered!   18I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!

The difference between belief and trust

I haven't written anything in a few days.  It's not because I haven't had inspiration in my ever day reality, but the things that keep inspiring me are small things that I didn't think would impact anyone else besides me.  Well, I realized that maybe what is inspiring to me, could actually be a blessing to someone else.  So, with that in mind, here are a few things that have had me thinking over the last week.

You can believe in God and still not BELIEVE in him.

I can have a basic belief in God and his Son Jesus and still not believe he can do all he says he can.  I can believe in him and still not trust him or give him the credit he deserves.  This is an everyday reality for me.  I caught myself this morning texting my family to see if they were driving to work so I knew whether or not I had to worry for them.  Really?!?!  The God I serve doesn't like it when I worry.  That means that I don't have faith enough in his will for my life, or that if something were to happen that he wouldn't be able to walk me through it.  Oh how I continue to insult my Lord with my worrying.  Give it over and let God do his thing.  I trust you!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Pure Freedom

I am so excited to be participating in the Pure Freedom Event being held at our church, Grace Bible Chapel, on May 14, 2011.  Pure Freedom is a ministry that Dannah Gresh leads that encourages Moms and tween/teenage daughters to have the talk about staying pure.  From what I've read about Dannah's work, she doesn't just focus on being sexually pure, although this is her main message, but also being completely pure.  She tells a story on her website about hearing a program on the radio about purity.  The one question the daughter on the program asked her mother was if the mother had stayed pure.  Dannah vowed then and there to never lie to her children about her indiscretions if they asked.  I think that Dannah is doing a wonderful job at challenging us to keep our  heart, mind and spirit pure while striving to do the same. 

I know that this ministry is about Mother's and daughter's and most of you know that I'm a mother of a beautiful little boy who is only 2. I still have a passion about purity even at his young age.  I'm sure you've noticed how sexualized our society has become.  Children, yes I said CHILDREN, are experimenting with sex at even younger ages now.  They even have regular TV programming having to do with being a teen mom, or being pregnant as a teen.  I just googled statistics on teen pregnancy and a site popped up saying that "34% of young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20 -- about 820,000 a year. Eight in ten of these teen pregnancies are unintended and 79 percent are to unmarried teens."  From the outside looking in, it seems there are young girls screaming for help.  This is just one statistic.

I could go on for pages and pages about how our society demoralizes women.  How we are expected to dress, talk, walk, weigh, look and be a certain way and that these standards are not only unobtainable but completely outrageous and ridiculous.  It starts at babyhood. Have you ever shopped for a girl?  It's crazy the clothing they have for BABY girls out there.  It gets worse!  When the girls are a little older (months) their clothes get even more revealing.  By the time they hit school they're practically wearing booty shorts and bikini tops to school.  That may be some exaggerated, but I challenge you to walk through a stores' "girls" section this summer and just look at the clothing they sell for children.  No wonder our kids are ending up pregnant and interested in boys before the age of 13.  We dress them accordingly.  Dress for success, right??? makes me sick to think about it!!!!  (stepping off of the soap box now)

This is a reflection of the world we live in and we let that shadow our children.  They don't stand a chance...unless we help them choose differently.  If we choose to educate them the best that we can, with discussions early on about the pressure they will face, I think we can help them make the change.  Pure Freedom is one of the catalysts.  Pure Freedom is working to bring about change.  I love that they are offering retreats, school curriculum's and live events.  They are really making strides to attack at every angle.

I mentioned that our church is hosting one of these live events.  If you have a young lady in your life and are interested in bringing her to the event, keep an eye on our church website for all of the details.  If you have any more questions, please ask me, I will be involved behind the scenes at the event, so I should have some information to pass on.  Most importantly, if you can't come to the event, read up on Dannah's work.  Let her words empower you to have "the talk" with your kids.  You can empower your child to make the right choices and that will impact her life!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Oh precious is the flow, that makes me white as SNOW...

I love snow!  I think it's beautiful!  I enjoy the cozy feeling of being stuck inside with the people I love, especially now that I have a family of my own.  However, I have wonderful vivid memories from my childhood of snow storms that kept my family stuck indoors for a few days.  We would have a huge pot of vegetable soup on the stove simmering away all day long.  My brother and I would have marathon games of monopoly.  We would actually play for several days straight (the same game).  We hid our money at night so no one would steal it, then the next day we'd get our stash out and pick back up on the game. 

Snow brought unity to our home.  Each flake covers a dirty spot until you can't see anything but a pristine white layer over that yucky patch.  Snow brings the promise of a new beginning with it.

You would never believe how filthy my car was before the snow covered it.  Snow is fun to play in.  It brings joy to kids and adults!
Snow brings a smile to your face and can make you act silly.

I think the coolest thing about snow, is that it reminds us of Jesus blood.  I know crazy--white snow - red blood, but hear me out.  Jesus blood is like snow in that it covers all of our sin and all of our yucky bits  making them clean and bright.  Jesus blood gives us hope and promises a beautiful future.  Jesus blood gave us entrance to a heavenly home---cozier than any home we've ever known.  Jesus blood brings unity!!  Jesus blood gives each of us a chance at a new beginning. 

One of my favorite children's Sunday School songs was:  "What can wash away my sins?  Nothing but the blood of Jesus.  What can make me whole again?  Nothing but the blood of Jesus.  Oh precious is the flow, that makes me white as snow.  No other fount I know, nothing but the blood of Jesus."  For more lyrics and the music (which is quite interesting on this site) click here.

The next time it snows and you take your first glimpse of its untouched beauty, I hope you remember that snow is a great reminder of a Jesus blood and new beginnings.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Pride and it's destruction.

This has been on my heart for a few weeks now.  It just seems that God is showing me that now is the time to share it.  I hope you’re able to follow along as my thoughts were a bit scattered.  Hopefully the true point comes through.
Pride, by definition, is “self-satisfaction”, “proper sense of own value”, “feeling of superiority” and a “source of personal satisfaction”.  Of course it is also the name we use for a “group of lions”, but we aren’t talking about lions today.
My question is how can we ever be proud of ourselves if we will never be perfect in this life on earth? We will always have flaws therefore anything we ever produce will inevitable be flawed in some way as well.  Psalms 51:5 (NLT) says, “For I was born a sinner—yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.”  As soon as we were conceived we became a sinful being.  So much for people who like to think that humans are “good” natured...   
I feel that many people who claim to be religious are in a sense “self-worshipers”.  I have fallen into this trap myself, and it is a daily struggle to give all the glory to God and not keep it for myself.  Have you ever thought of yourself as being a good person?  You may teach Sunday School or volunteer at your local homeless shelter.  Maybe you pay the extra dollar at the grocery store to donate to the food bank-but don’t you get to write your name on one of those paper cut outs to display that you were “selfless”.  Ha!  Selfless...  Do you ever feel like you’re doing a good job because you got to tell someone about your faith, or that YOU were able to bless someone with some random act of kindness?  Do you really think that YOU had anything to do with it? 
I have done all of these things and thought I was, to an extent, superior to others.  After all, I took meals to someone or I gave to the grocery store food fund.  I’ve chased homeless people down in parking lots to give them food, but was my motive really selfless. (The answer is no)  What are your motives?
If I give, am I giving in Christ’s name or my own?  If I rely on myself, I’ll be let down every time, and then, where does that leave room for God’s salvation?  If I am always self-reliant, if I feel superior or let myself have the feelings of self-worth, where does Jesus’ sacrifice fit in?  Pride is destructive!  It leaves puffed up people in its wake and doesn’t allow God’s mercy to have a foot hold.  It actually lends itself to thinking you can earn your way to heaven.  People may think, “If I continue helping with the kids at church I’ll earn a point.  As long as I’m giving my money each week to a great cause, I’ll make it in.  Every year at Christmas I always make sure to help a soup kitchen, so I know I’m going to heaven.” 
Fortunately it doesn’t work like that!  Ephesians 2:9 (NLT) says, “Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.”  See---it has NOTHING to do with what we do, how good we are, how much we give, how often we participate.  We/I could never be good enough, do well enough or participate enough-because we’ve been sinning since CONCEPTION!!!! It is only by God’s grace that we are shown mercy.  That mercy is a GIFT.  It is nothing we earned.  The gift is free, and offered to everyone, not just an elite group of people.  And because of this free gift, God sees us with renewed eyes.  He sees us through the perfection of His Son Jesus.  We are no longer flawed in His site, but perfect in His image.  Praise God for this!!!  He saw worth in us, when we were unworthy.
John 3:16,17(NLT) says, “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.”  If God had sent Jesus to judge us, we would fall so very short of the mark that none of us would ever meet the standard.  We would all be condemned.
Before you ever let a thought enter your mind about how good you are, or how much you’ve done, make sure that your motives were in the right place.  Did you do it out of pride?  Or did you do it in the name of Christ for God’s glory?  I would like to close with and excerpt from and e-mail my cousin, Denise, and I were writing back and forth about today.  She said it so well, that I couldn’t rephrase it to make it sound any better.
“They [Christians who feel superior and more spiritual] aren't really worshiping god, they are worshiping themselves. They aren't seeking glory for god, they are hoping that people think they are super extra spiritual, and they hope that the glory reflects onto themselves. Moreover, I think this behavior is counterproductive because the rest of us looking on don't see a witness for Christ, we see a witness for vanity and self-aggrandizement.
Perhaps the real message is that you ought to be crazy in love with god, and i hope that is the case. i mean, if you truly believe that the eternity of your life is either spent in the best place ever or the worst place ever, and the only way to get into the best place ever is through the sacrifice of Christ, how can you not be totally in love? Our short time here on earth is about to be eclipsed by eternity of pain and sorrow, but instead, like a super hero, Jesus swoops in and saves the day. He not only returns us to our mediocre existence, but offers us the opportunity to live in perfection...awesome.”

Friday, January 7, 2011

Could not ask for more...

I am so thankful that you came into my life 7 years ago.  Do you remember dancing to this song at our wedding?  I think I sang in your ear the whole time (sorry for that).  My every prayer, truly, was answered when I met you.  I prayed specifically for my "husband to be", and God delivered to the fullest extent possible. You really are the man of my dreams and I am so proud to be your wife, and the mother of your child.  By the way, you're an awesome Daddy and not everyone who is a father can say that.  Our son adores you, just like his Mama!  You have grown so much this year, spiritually and emotionally.  I am so proud of you and your accomplishments.  I pray that all of your dreams come true and that you find the satisfaction you seek. 

I can't wait to be back in your arms tonight.  This week apart has taken forever to go by.  I honestly don't know what I'll do with myself if you're gone again for this length of time.  It is true, that absence make the heart grow fonder.  I can't wait to look into your eyes once again.  You are my home.  Your arms are my safe place, your laughter fills me with joy and your smile in contagious.  I love you, Lonnie Norris III, now and until the day I die. All my love  xoxoxo.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

You are:

My God, You alone are in control.  You tell the stars where to stand and the sun when it should move.  You orchestrate the planets in their rhythmic cycle.  You tell streams when to flood, the wind when it should blow, the birds when they should soar and the flower when to bloom. God, you are the creator of it all.

Almighty Father, you hold me tightly in the palm of your hand.  You hold me close to your chest.  You comfort me in my sorrow and are my refuge.  You whisper in my ear comforting, truthful words.   You are like a favorite blanket to a crying child-comforting, warm and soothing.  You are like balm that cools a burn.  You are my hiding place.

Holy God, You are my strength to go on.  You motivate me to be better and to do better.  You raise me up when I stumble and help me to walk the rocky path.  You hold my enemies at bay and lead me to victory.  You keep the flood waters from pulling me under and set my feet on solid dry ground.   Your strength is beyond compare.

You, Jesus, are my redeemer.  You paid the price for my stupidity and ignorance.  You were selfless when I am selfish.  You speak truths when I am deceitful.  You were humble when I am proud.  You took the blame and were sinless and I am black, covered in my own shame.  You showed me mercy and I don’t deserve it.  God, you have so many facets, more than I could possibly ever imagine.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

When you get a "no" from God.

Today during nap time I watched the move, "Letters to Juliet".  I have to seize the opportunity to watch chick flicks while Lonnie is away.  I'm sure some of the ladies out there can identify with this.  The movie was great.  I loved the whole thing.  

Here is a brief synopsis of the movie taken from the official website:
"In Verona, Italy – the beautiful city where Romeo first met Juliet – there is a place where the heartbroken leave notes asking Juliet for her help. It’s there that aspiring writer Sophie finds a 50-year-old letter that will change her life forever. As she sets off on a romantic journey of the heart with the letter’s author, Claire, now a grandmother, and her handsome grandson, all three will discover that sometimes the greatest love story ever told is your own."
So the movie got me thinking about all of the prayers I've prayed over the years, and all of the times I thought God wasn't listening or if He was listening, He wasn't giving me what I was asking for.  As if He were only there to grant my every wish.  I can think of several instances over my lifetime where God has said "no" or "not now" to my prayers. 

I had my entire life planned out before I got out of high school---and when I say life I'm really saying LOVE life.  I just knew I was going to be married by the time I was 21 and have my first child on the way by 23 and be completely finished having children before I was 30.  Ha!  That's a laugh, now, when I'm reminiscing.  My reality was that I would think that I was in love a few different times.  Somewhere around the age of 24 I fell in love with someone so unexpectedly--not even from my own state.  We would marry when I was 25 and I didn't have my first child until I was 28 almost 29.  God had other plans for me, and I just needed to be patient enough to wait and receive them. 

If I had married the first man who ever proposed to me, I'd most likely be living in FL-which maybe would've been convenient now that some of my family have moved there.  Funny enough, I don't like the heat or summer in general unless there is a pool nearby.  I love the ocean, but only to look at--I never swim in it, too scared of the things that live in it.  God knew all of these things! 

If I would've married the second man who proposed I probably would've ended up without children of my own as he was unable to have children due to an illness. Strangely, he now lives in FL too.  I won't tell you again how Spring and Fall are my favorite seasons and that too much heat makes me sweat-ew!  The third one to proposed wouldn't have worked out either.  Seriously, if any of these matches were to have been my reality, I'd most likely be unhappy, possibly divorced, a single mom in a HOT place.  Not my idea of happily ever after.  But, God knew!

On the flip side, God intricately planned how Lonnie and I would meet.  Lonnie lived in NJ.  His family moved from Northern NJ to central NJ to live with his paternal grandfather after his grandfather had an accident.  He grew up and graduated high school and fell in love with travelling.  He became a truck driver *Just like my Dad! I used to love going on runs with my dad in his big truck when I was young, so Lonnie being a driver really clicked with me.  And of course, what girl doesn't what a guy like her Daddy?*  Not long after he became a truck driver, his grandfather passed away and 10 days later his father passed away.  His mother was left living in her in-laws home, with 3 children.  She was able to find love again after marrying her husbands youngest brother.  Shortly after their marriage, his Uncle/step-father found a job in MD and they relocated the family to Rising Sun.  Lonnie's mom saw the town Rising Sun on the map of MD an thought it sounded pretty, so that's where they decided to move.  I love that!  His younger brother became sick and needed to see a doctor.  I was the one working at the doctor's office who took his payment after the appointment.  His mother was with him at my checkout window when he brought out a wad of cash to pay for his visit.  I jokingly said, "Do you have an older brother?"  LOL! His mom replied, "Yes!"  She came back to my window before leaving and got my number to give to her older son.  And, well, one blind date and a year of dating....and the rest is history. 

You can't write a story better than that!  God planned that whole journey for both of us down to the smallest detail!  Even through heartache, on both of our parts, he brought us together.  When you think that there isn't one more hardship you can go through, or that you just can't take the pain, remember that He has a plan for you, and sometimes there are speed bumps to go over before reaching your destination.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  He didn't say it would be an easy road, or that there wouldn't be pain and heartache along the way, but he does promise hope and a future and He promises to have a planSo don't hesitate to give up control today and let Him make the plans, just be prepared for an awesome journey.

Monday, January 3, 2011

You are beautiful

I tried to write and post this early this morning, but my little "monkey" decided to play under the desk and I guess the red light on the power strip looked like it needed to be lost everything.  I hope I can remember everything I wanted to say about his subject.  Here goes.

I started this blogging journey by finding God's inspiration while doing my normal chores and thing during the day.  Today post will not disappoint, as I was inspired to write this post while I was washing my dishes by hand.  I had the radio set on 95.1, Shine FM, and the D.J. dedicates this song to a few of her girlfriends who struggle with self esteem issues. The song Beautiful, by Mercy Me came on.  Now I've heard this song a least 100 times over the past year.  I hadn't really listened to the lyrics, but I could sing along to the chorus, "You're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're made for so much more than this..."  If I'm being honest, I thought the song was talking about God/Jesus being beautiful...I was wrong!  *For complete lyrics for this song, check out this link:

So I'm standing at the sink singing "you're beautiful" when the bridge of the song catches my attention.  There is a line that says: "Of all the wonders He possessed/There was one more precious....You're beautiful".  Now I'm figuring out that the song is talking about me-or you.  It hits me that I had never thought about God's love like this, EVER.  I think the point of the song (to me) is that of all of God's creations, we are the ones he is madly in love with.  Now let's bring this home.

How many times have you sat in the sand at the oceans shore and lapped up the lovely sunshine and thought of how awesome God is for making such beauty?  Have you ever gone to snow capped mountains and looked down over the expanse and praised God for his marvelous wonders?  How about all the times you've seen the sun rise or set and realized that God was right on point when he said that, "It was good".  Have you ever seen a meadow and off in the distance you see a doe and her baby grazing in the field and marveled at the beauty?  Well, every time God looks down at you he thinks the same thing.  You see, God didn't send his son to die for the ocean or it's beautiful sandy beaches.  He didn't sacrifice himself for mountain tops or deer.  He is madly in love with YOU.  We worship him because of His creation and beauty, and rightly so.  He deserves all honor and glory, but don't forget to worship him for YOU.

In Luke 12, Jesus is talking to his disciples about money and worrying about what you have or don't have.  Luke 12:24 says. "Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds!" How many times have you read this verse or heard it?  I know I have heard it all  my life.  Today, however, it means something different to me.  Notice Jesus says, you are far more valuable to him than any birds.  He says we're valuable, of worth, important, vital, essential and significant.  God loves us-like a high school crush.  He is just waiting for us to notice his advances.  He wants to be near us, more, he wants us to want to be near him.  All he is looking for is a relationship, a special friendship, a romance between him and you.  He wants to court you, to woo you.  He is the ultimate---well, everything!  He's the best listener, comforter, healer, counselor and friend. 

In Luke 19:10 Jesus says, "For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.”  People don't seek for things that they don't want.  You don't go looking for lost trash.  No, you seek things that are important to you.  Things that if they were lost, would change your life.  You look for your car keys because it may change your life if you had to walk to work and were 2 hours late because of it.  You could lose your job.  You look for a child who is lost, because they are dear to you and life would never be the same if they weren't found.  You look for your favorite earring that has gone missing because you put value on it.  Jesus didn't come to seek out the trivial "junk", he came to seek out YOU, the most important thing to him.

So whenever Satan tell you that you are insignificant, unimportant and unworthy, I want you to scream back in his face, I am important, God chose me, the Bible tells me God loves me and I don't believe your lies!  Let God's truth and love resonate in your spirit.  Don't let a low self esteem stand in your way anymore.

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die!

You're beautiful, You're beautiful

Sunday, January 2, 2011

And the two shall become one.

Genesis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
This verse was quoted during my wedding ceremony, and I’ve thought about them a time or two during my six and a half year marriage, but not like I’ve thought of them in the past few days.  I honestly always thought of the verse in a sexualized manner.  The two shall be come one flesh—sounds a little “fleshy”.  This week, however, the words came alive to me in quite a different way.  Here’s the quick back story on how I came to a different conclusion. 
My husband, Lonnie, decided to take a new job that will take him away from home from time to time.  Unfortunately, the first time he is away from home is the first 2-3 weeks of the new job.  You see, we live in Maryland and his job training is in Michigan.  On a map, it doesn’t seem too far, but in reality, it’s about 10 hours away and 590 miles away.  The issue is that he’ll be there for 2 weeks straight, although he’ll be attempting to come home on the weekends.
I’ve known about this job change for about a month; and to be transparently truthful, I’ve been dreading this change from the beginning, because I knew he’d be away from home for a while.  I’ve been putting it in the back of my mind for quite some time now, but the days on the calendar don’t just stop.  No, they just keeping ticking by, and for this past week, I’ve been brutally reminded at every step that I was about to be alone without my mate, my partner in crime.  Seneca said, “Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.”  
Indeed, time was too swift for me-and it wasn’t until last night that I realized what my true feelings were.  I was fearful, lonely, sad and out of balance.
I was Fearful-that Lonnie would befall an accident and not return home. 
I was Lonely- because my teammate and best friend would be leaving me to fend for myself. 
I was Sad- because I was feeling sorry for myself for missing him and being alone. 
I was Out of balance- because my life will not be in full balance again until he returns and we are united again as a team, best friends, lovers and as a family.

You see seven years ago, on March 6, we said “I do” to one another. I said to him:  “I, Lori, take you Lonnie, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”  Then at the end of the ceremony the pastor said, “What God has joined together let no man put asunder.”  That day we made promises to one another.   A promise, I pray, that will never be broken.  A covenant was made to God and my husband that day.   But more than that, we were joined together in unity.  At the time I didn’t realize how different it was going to make me feel.  I was no longer my own person…I became an amalgamation of two people.  We merged together to become one entity.  
I realized yesterday just how intertwined we have become.  Upon some self-evaluation, I couldn’t believe how co-dependent I had become!  Really!!  I mean, when I was single, I was very independent.  I made my own money, I had my own place, drove my own car…I didn’t need anyone’s help (except for when I needed some help LOL).  I probably made fun of people just like myself now, being too dependent on a man.  I’m sure some of you reading this will think I’m crazy and should get a little more gumption.  I have to say to you, that I wouldn’t want to be any other way.  You see, I am just as co-dependent as he is to me.  We have literally become ONE unit.  For example, we are no longer two fifty cent pieces; we are a one dollar bill.  Notice that I made our monetary value go up ~ that is for a reason.  I am a better person because Lonnie is my partner.  He inspires me to want to be a better me.  I hope that I inspire him in the same way.  When one of us falls, the other is there to help pick the other one up. 
Just the two of us isn’t true balance and unity, though.  If I only focused on Lonnie, I would have no time to focus on my relationship with Christ.  The same goes for Lonnie.  Without our relationship with Christ, we’re just aimless people who happen to meet up from time to time.  I could try to be completely dependent on Lonnie, but he is human and would let me down, as I would do for him.  Without God in our lives, without the grace of His son Jesus, there would be no perfect unity.  When God show’s me mercy and grace, it overflows into my life and I then show mercy to Lonnie.  Where mercy is shown, mercy is given.  If I am not in the Word or on my knees regularly, that broken relationship with the Lord begins to flood my other relationships, most importantly my marriage.
Honestly, that’s exactly what was happening.  I have been lax with my time with the Lord and now looking back on the past few weeks, I see how that has impacted my relationship with Lon.  Matthew 12:34b says, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”  My mouth was speaking frustrated, angry words, instead of loving, compassionate, kind words because my heart was full of anger instead of the word of God.  I pretty much wasted my last few weeks with him by not keeping my relationship with the Lord strong.  I also made life more painful for myself and Lonnie because I was so worked up and selfish with my feelings. If I had prayed about the situation sincerely and let God fill me where I was feeling empty and release control to Him, I would’ve been more loving and compassionate to him.  Sure I had muttered a few fifteen second prayers, but nothing heartfelt, nothing that if overheard would’ve suggested I was actually having a dialogue with my friend Jesus.  I have a vivid memory of doing this very thing once before—you know, not praying about a situation and keeping God at arm’s length---and I was miserable!!!  I guess God was showing me that I hadn’t quite learned the lesson yet—since I failed the test.
My prayer is that I would remember to include God in my every thought, in every situation.  Without God as a part of my marriage to Lonnie, we would be a flat tire—out of balance and out of work, worth nothing.  The lesson is: the two shall become one + one (God). 

What you can expect to see in my blog.

Over the past year I've been told on several occasions that I should start a blog.  Not having any experience reading blogs or writing anything, other than on Facebook, I have avoided this all together.  With some encouragement from my husband and a few friends, I thought I would give it a whirl.  I plan on writing about my family and friends, things that inspire me, subjects that interest me and more importantly my relationship with God.  I can't guarantee my spelling and grammar will be perfect, indeed, I can guarantee it won't!

My prayer for you as the reader, is to be inspired to engage in conversation with someone you wouldn't normally talk to, for you to take time to talk to and praise our Heavenly Father and for you to inspire others by sharing your stories.