Wednesday, January 26, 2011

In His Image

When I get mad at my body for not working the way I think it should or for the way it looks, it hurts God's feelings. 

Some of you may know of my struggle to get pregnant with my son, who is 2 now.  I have PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) which prevent my body from ovulating on a regular basis, thus making it even harder and with fewer chances to get pregnant than normal.  We were "lucky" in the sense that we were able to get pregnant using the medication Clomid and didn't have to go through tons of tests or doctors appointments.  However, the luck factor doesn't really factor in to how I feel about my body not being able to get pregnant "normally".  For about a year my husband and I have been trying for a 2nd child and we have had no success.  Despite everything I did, we never got pregnant.  *thankfully the Lord has taken my burning desire for a 2nd child away for now, and I'm content in what I have--seriously, I am!*  My friend and I were talking recently and I was lamenting to her how frustrating it was to not be normal in this areaShe gently explained that if God was ready for us to be pregnant than it would be.  She also put the thought in my head that God was probably a little upset with how badly I was talking about myself since He is the one who created me IN HIS IMAGE in the first place.  After our conversation, I had to come to grips with this.  God knew from before my own conception, how long I would live, who I would marry, where I would live, how many children I would have and how they would be conceived.  What right do I have to be disappointed and even angry that things aren't working they way I thought they should.  If I can just remember to keep the "I" out of the equation-things would be a lot easier.  If God is perfect and I am created in his likeness, how could I ever complain about his creation.  I'm not saying that we can't work on what we've got, but I am saying that beating yourself up because you have bigger hips than your friends is ridiculous.  I am also saying that we rob God of his glory and joy by obsessing over ourselves in a negative way.  Besides, in my own situation, only He can be credited with any pregnancies that I will ever have because He is seriously creating a miracle!  To God be all Glory for the great things he has done!!!

Genesis 1:27  So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

Psalms 139:-18  O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.  2You know when I sit down or stand up.  You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.  3You see me when I travel and when I rest at home.  You know everything I do.  4You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.  5You go before me and follow me.   You place your hand of blessing on my head.  6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!  7I can never escape from your Spirit!  I can never get away from your presence!  8If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there.  9 If I ride the wings of the morning,  if I dwell by the farthest oceans, 10even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.  11I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night—12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.  To you the night shines as bright as day.  Darkness and light are the same to you.  13You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.  14Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!  Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. 15You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.  16You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book.  Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. 17How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.  They cannot be numbered!   18I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!


Anita said...

.. wow.. just felt that slap of reality... but it was deserved.. someone once said in a Sunday school class I was in that when we are negative about ourselves,it is like "boasting " only in the opposite, when we are always "down" on ourselves...(does this make sense..??) but somehow I always gravitate towards the negative side of "me" anyway.. thanks for the reminder..I'll b praying for your struggle if you pray for mine.. :) luv ya..keep up the good work... :)

Lori said...

That makes sense Anita--the boasting thing. I always tend to blame my body for its flaws rather than marvel at its uniqueness. I guess what I love about our God is that he can give you peace when you're desperate. I honestly have NO burning desire anymore to become pregnant. He knows that we would like more children, in whatever way he wants to send them-be natural, adoption, foster care...whatever. I'm willing to step back and let him have control over that, and it's only by his grace that he allows me to do that. =) Praying for you.

Amber said...

I didn't know you were even trying again!! It will be fun to watch how God works in your life and what children He brings to you!!! :)

Brynn said...

you know i totally understand this post and your feelings. been there!! during my struggle to get pregnant, i once heard someone say "normal is only a setting on a dryer." i loved it. so true!

keep praying. we'll all keep praying!

Post a Comment